Heart Of Gold
by Risknight
Summary: A not-so-ordinary evening at the comic shop.


Anyone casually watching would have been amused by the intense concentration on the faces of the four men as they skimmed through the long boxes of back-issue comics. The eyes of all four men were locked on the comics. Their fingers flipped through the comics quickly. They even spoke in unison.

"Got it."

"Got it."

"Got it."

"Got it."

"Got it."  
"Need it!"

"Hey! Let go!" Howard said loudly.

Sheldon's eyes narrowed. "You let go. I need this one."

"So do I," Howard hissed. "I saw it first!"

"But I want it more!"

The door to the comic shop opened so hard, it bounced off the standee of Duke Nukem. Penny ran inside, her eyes searching the room. "SHELDON!"

All eyes focused on her, but she ignored them all, spotting her whacky neighbor near the back. She rushed over and grabbed his free hand, tugging him away from the table. "Let's go, Moonpie! We've only got four minutes!"

Sheldon jumped and tried to shake her off, but all that did was loosen his grip on the comic which allowed Howard to snatch it away. "Penny! You just cost me a comic! Stop manhandling me!"

She rolled her eyes and tightened her grip, dragging him toward the door. "No time, sweetie! Let's go!"

Leonard stepped into Penny's path, a jealous scowl on his face. "Want to catch me up?" he asked.

Penny pushed past him. "No time!"

Sheldon's arm flailed in the air as Penny finally got them out the door. He started to look around for her car, but she simply drew him into the alley beside the store. Leonard, Howard and Raj followed, feeling curious and a little unnerved.

Bernadette looked up from her phone with a frown. "I thought you were just getting Sheldon."

Penny sighed and shoved Sheldon toward her. "I did, didn't I?"

"What's going on?" Howard asked his girlfriend.

"Um, you didn't pay for that," Stuart said, entering the alley and pointing to the comic in Howard's hand.

Penny groaned with frustration and turned to the four men. "Okay, stand together." They looked at each other before looking back at her. She put her hands on her hips. "Now!"

They all jumped and stood shoulder to shoulder. Bernadette moved to Sheldon's right side and Penny moved to his left. The two women clasped his hands tightly, not allowing him to shake them off.

"Unhand me!" he yelled.

"Hush, sweetie," Penny said before looking back at the others. "Guys, it's been fun. We've had some good times and we've had some bad ones. I've got few regrets. I'll miss you all."

Bernadette smiled cheerfully. "Yep. It's been great. I'd wish you all the best, but there's only two minutes left before the Earth is destroyed. Bye."

Leonard started to step forward but a growl from Penny froze him in place. "What the hell is going on?"

"Ever read The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy?" Bernadette asked.

"Of course," Sheldon said. "It's a science fiction classic."

"No," Penny said with a grin. "It's a science non-fiction classic. See, this is Earth Mark II. The Vogon constructor fleet has returned to finish their hyperspace bypass, and in..." Penny looked over at Bernadette's phone, "just over a minute, this Earth is going to be demolished. Bernadette and I aren't from here. We're actually from the second moon of Betelgeuse. We're leaving before the planet is destroyed and Sheldon's going with us."

All of the men stared at her as if she was insane. "That's crazy talk!" Raj burst out, shocked out of his mutism.

Bernadette's phone lit up and she gave an excited squeal. "They're here!"

Suddenly a bright light lit up the alley. The guys were shocked to see a shiny red aircraft come into view above the alley. Sheldon's jaw dropped, even as his heart began to race with excitement.

"Wait!" Leonard yelled. "You're taking SHELDON?! Why him? Why not me!"

Penny sighed softly. "He's a genius, Leonard. Plus, it's kinda his dream. Besides, he sings Soft Kitty."

"He's too smart to let him die," Bernadette said.

"But Bernadette! I was going to marry you!" Howard shouted.

"Aww!" she cooed happily. "That's so sweet! I'll miss you Howard," she promised.

A blue beam encased Sheldon and the girls. "Sorry, guys," Penny said calmly, "but there's only room for one more hitchhiker on this trip. If there's ever an Earth Mark III, we'll look you guys up."

A loud 'POP' noise and a flash of bright light later, the four guys were alone in the alley.

"This is just a dream, right?" Howard asked weakly.

Stuart sighed heavily and pointed to the sky over the comic book shop where a square Borg-like ship hovered. "People of Earth Mark II, this is Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz of the Vogon constructor fleet. Your planet is marked for demolition. Have a nice day."

"I hate my life," Stuart said.

Raj looked at him solemnly. "Cheer up. It's almost over."

* * *

Sheldon blinked rapidly to clear the spots from his eyes. He heard some excited squealing to his left, so he turned that way. Penny and Bernadette were dangling from the neck of a tall blonde man who was hugging them with three arms. Nearby stood two more people. One was a pretty brunette woman who was smiling fondly and a very thin man with wildly curly brown hair and a smile that made Sheldon want to climb the closest tree.

"Oh dear. Not another one," a droll voice said from behind him.

Sheldon spun to find a robust looking android approaching. "Another what?" he asked faintly.

"I believe he means another adventure," said a man with a British accent carrying two cups. "Tea?"

"Y-you're Arthur Dent?" Sheldon asked.

Two arms wound around Sheldon's waist, making him jump. "Moonpie, meet Arthur, Trillian, Ford and my 2/3rds brother Zaphod."

"Oh, don't mind me," the robot said with a sigh. "It's not like I'm important."

Bernadette giggled and kissed the robot's cheek. "Don't be like that, Marvin. We all love you."

"You're all real," Sheldon said in wonder.

Zaphod laughed loudly. "Welcome to the Heart of Gold! My semi-sisters were very insistent that we bring you along." He turned to Trinity and gave her a kiss. "Come on, doll. Let's find us a party."

Bernadette linked her arm through Arthur's and they wandered off through a doorway. Marvin ambled off with Ford who wanted a drink only Marvin knew how to fix. Sheldon looked down at Penny with wide eyes. She was grinning up at him with twinkling eyes.

"I suppose you have a lot of questions," she said.

Slowly Sheldon nodded.

Penny released him and walked over to a counter. She opened a drawer and pulled out a towel. She draped it over his shoulder and leaned up to kiss his cheek. "Rule number one is, never leave home without your towel."

Sheldon wondered, for a moment, if his mom shouldn't have had him tested a second time. Then he looked out the screen at the moon, which looked close enough to touch. He looked around the ship at the consoles and the blinking lights. Then he looked back down at Penny.

"Is there really a restaurant at the end of the universe?"

Penny laughed happily. "Come on, Moonpie. Let's explore."


End file.
